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11-17-08

I Had to Get Something...
The other day I purchased tickets to TranSiberian Orchestra. Not for me...but oh how I wished I had purchased them for myself! FLOOR seats....man it's gonna be good!

No- in this case, I purchased them as a Christmas gift for my parents. I am tired of always getting my dad what he wants...cologne or socks. That's just wrong. And really, I would have liked to skip purchasing anything for mom for Christmas, except, that would be a breach of etiquette and I am sure she would hate me for months if I didn't get her something.

Usually, whatever you get her, she smiles that 'I hate it' smile and before she sets the present down, has plotted it's demise and reason for loss to the gift-giver. I swear there is no pleasing that woman.

So this year, I figured since dad is hard-of-hearing....but likes classical music, and mom cannot return a concert, I thought, 'what the perfect gift!'

Of course, it is November 30, so it is a tad early. So I must ask you, dear readers this....

Should I get them something else, something small, to open on Christmas day? Or just leave it, knowing I already gave them their present?

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11-16-08

Hard Question to Answer
I've been asked this question before. I never gave it any thought. And two months ago while in Virginia, I was asked again. This time, in context of a class I took during the conference.

The speaker asked the question. No one really thought about it. The speaker asked that same question again in the middle of his speech. Again, no one thought about it. We were all too busy listening to what he had to say that we forgot to pay attention to what he was saying. We were waiting on his next words...to inspire us...to intrigue us. But then he stopped....and quietly he asked the question a third time...

"Who are you?"

It's a simple question. As far as questions go. But the answer is a bit more difficult.
How do you answer that question? Do you spout off with some flippant answer? For myself, I loved to say I was 'German, Irish & (a 5th of) Scotch.' But is that really who I am?

Am I the heritage of those who came before me?

I remember one time when asked this question I would answer, 'I am a mom, a wife, a landscaper, an atm, a counselor, a taxi driver....' and on and on I would go...listing the things I do.

So is that really who I am?

So I thought some more. Who am I? I am an organizer. I am professional. I am a devoted employee. I can work computers, answer the phone, listen to strangers lament.

But is that who I am? Those are abilities.

Today, while making Christmas cards -I have been doing this for two weeks and have a lot of time to think- I thought of this seemingliy simple question.

Who Are You?

And I realized.....who I am has nothing to do with what I can or can't do, or my parents or my parents parents.
Who I am has everything to do with me....the insides of me....the woman who eats when she is not hungry to feel better about things, which makes me feel worse because I wasn't hungry. The woman who will do everything to help a friend, but refuse to sacrifice herself to do it. The woman who wants nothing more than to be respected, yet fears she isn't. The woman who still sees a pimply teenager when she looks in the mirror, and feels that same insecurity. The woman who wants to be loved, not manipulated. A woman who is emotionally strong, but only enough to build a wall so her fears and insecurities will not be used against her. The woman who is an optimist on the outside, and a pessimist on the inside. A woman of high standards, that I am hard on those around me and even more so on myself. A woman that does what she must in order to survive, emotionally. Who cries inside all the time, yet shows a hard face to the world. A woman who wants to be accepted, yet cannot accept herself or the way she looks. A woman who is comfortable with who she is, troubles, contradictions and all- who wants a puppy for that unconditional love without words.

That's who I am.

Who are you?

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11-15-08

Ham Dandy
I ran errands most of the day Thursday. Five hours worth. By Friday when I decided to stay at home as Girlie was sick, I shortened the number of errands. Yea me. Today, however, was spent running three hours of errands. ON A SATURDAY.

Geesh. You'd think I have kids or something.

One of my errands today was groceries. Hubby says, 'You going gocery shopping? You can take the card." He said this to my asking if he wanted me to use the checkbook or use the card.

When I got home three hours later, he says, 'I thought you were gonna go get donuts and milk!" WTF?

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

He wanted something quick. I wanted to do all my errands at once.

But- as the title of this post will tell you- I made one helluva ham for dinner tonight. (Compliments of that grocery shopping I did earlier.)

I bought a butt portion, 8 - 9 pound ham. I shoved whole cloves in it about every inch.
I put it in the oven at 1pm at 200', covered with tin foil.
After six hours, I poured honey on it and put it back in the oven for 10 minutes.
Took it out, sprinkled a little brown sugar on it (maybe two tablespoons) and then put maple syrup over the whole ham (about 1/8 cup). Back in the oven for 10 mins. Then I let the ham sit for 15 minutes after turning off the oven.

It was fall off the bone delicious and not as sweet as you might think. The sugars formed a crunchy, browned exterior, lightly sweet.

Hubby said, 'What kind of ham was that?"
Me- "The normal kind. I just cooked it differently."
Hubby- "That's the best ham I've ever tasted!"

And I served it with a nice veggie and herb roasted potatoes. Yowaza!

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11-14-08

Motivation Noun or Verb?
Two months ago, Hippie and I went to Virginia on a business conference.
On the way back, whilst sitting in the Atlanta airport waiting on our connector, we had a heated discussion about motivation.

SHE says motivation is external.

I say it is internal.

Websters Dictionary says
motivate is a verb- to provide with a motive or motives; impel, incite.
motivation is a noun- the act or instance of motivating.

They both come from the root word, motive.
Webster says;
Motive is a noun- something that causes a person to act in a certain way; the goal or object of a person's actions.

Hippie focused on the act of motion itself...which would make it external, as how can one move internally?

And there you have the reasoning for my argument- the goal or object of a person's action. To my way of thinking- the act- that is, the movement of your body, is external- but the reason behind wanting what you want is internal....thus making motivation internal. There is no act without reason.

What do you think? Is motivation internal or external?

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11-13-08

A Funny Thing Happened At The Board Meeting
Before I go far in this story- go tell Richmond Happy Birthday today!

Okay- last Monday was the board meeting for the company with which I work. And they were so nice to me....but I have to tell you, maybe my inner standards are a little more...umm. strict?

Rewind a few weeks ago. I mentioned briefly about a board member arguing with me over my non-payment of a receipt he put on my desk. Basic story is this- I just gave him an office key. HE LOST IT two days later. He needed that key for a training session on a saturday when no one else who had a key was around. He called a locksmith then presented me with the bill.

I stalled on paying it as to my way of thinking, HE lost the key. HE should pay AND give me the key he had to have made. And before anyone asks, he did sign a key sign out form, but it doesn't say anything about lost or stolen keys and who is responsible (we are a SMALL organization).

The board told me to pay him back. I did. I just wanted clarification on who pays for stupidity.

I had a 10k check in my possession that I was to deposit. I thought I had. I didn't. I forgot. And in my stupidity, I bounced two checks. So when it came payday, I took the fees out of my check. I feel that it was my responsibility and I should pay.

At the board meeting, I mention that I did deposit the check, but not before I managed to bounce two items, and so to rectify the situation, I paid fees back.

They ALL said, 'No! It was an accident! Go write yourself a check!"

And I said no.

After the board meeting, two of the members (who are also on the checking account) wrote a check for me to pay back what I paid for bounced fees. When they left, I voided the check they wrote to me.

Am I being.....abstruse? Stubborn?


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11-12-08

All Fracked Up
Heh- I used 'Fracked' just for Roses.....I do not watch that show...

Anyway- yesterday things happened I wish didn't happen. And things didn't happen that I wished would have happened. It's strange the bowl of pits life gives you sometimes, isn't it?

My daughter thinks she has the world's worst parents (she was arguing with a friend of hers that I drive EVERYDAY because she asked me, about who's parents are more strict).
A friends' daughter ran away.
The husband ignored a request of mine, a serious request..and he still cannot figure out why I am angry (yes, I told him, again).
I tried getting a tattoo...they were closed. I called the number on the door, they never called back.
I went looking at the pound to adopt a puppy- one place had one dog- not a puppy. The second place was closed. The third place doesn't do adoptions except on weekends.

Yeah..its was definitely a strange day.

How was your Veterans Day?
11-11-08

B-I-N-G-O
Absolutely priceless. Feel free to print & take with on your next trip...